One Non-Blonde

Twenty-three years and my life is still trying' to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination.

(Brace yourself, this'll be a long one.)

There is simply no excuse for not writing for so long. I am easily distracted. I would think "Oh gosh, I really want to write that down... if only I had my computer with me..." And then when I did it was, "Oh, I should Facebook while I Facebook. Wait, was there something else I was supposed to do?" So here we are. Six months later.

In that time, I have moved out on my own, sold roughly 45 cars, dented 2 hearts, been recruited as a lead singer for a band that sings covers from the 70's, 80's, 90's, and now, been asked to be a professional magician's lovely assistant, and sustained a vegan diet. Who am I!? I shall elaborate.

Bullet point #1. Yes, I am now living on my own. It's very liberating not have to responsible for anyone but me, myself, and my fuzzies. (Bosco, dog, Oliver, cat, and Ichabod, also cat.) I am no longer a parent to my siblings and I am working on learning to be a sister. That's nice.

Bullet 2. I sell cars. My managers have a lot of faith in my potential. Every month, I am selling more cars than the previous month. This is a great sign considering that we are headed into slow car sales months. I do not care. I shall press on until I level off to 20 cars a month. and then I'll aim for 50. When I first hit the sales floor, I looked at the job as a matter of luck. I might se 80 customers that month who were "just looking". After all, I'm in a business of 90% rejection. However, my mentor and person I aspire to be like  pointed something out to me: I work with two kinds of people. People that rely on luck, and those that rely on skill. But those that rely on skill sell a LOT more cars. So now I know longer pray for luck or for sales, but for consistency in honing my skills. And boy, has God been answering in the affirmative. Realistically, it's about both. But if I can use my skills to manage my time effectively and sell 10 cars a month, I can live comfortably. And the rest of the cars that I sell can be extra blessings.

Bullet Three. I have dented two hearts. I need to be more careful. I am ruled by the passion of my heart, and sometimes passion does not allow for logic or planning or what if's. It's hasty. It may be okay to go from 0-60 on the freeway, but if I start speeding and suddenly find myself on a windy canyon road, somebody is bound to get hurt. There's a metaphor with someone in mind. Point is, I shall plan my road trips a little more carefully, but I can still take spontaneous detours.

Bullet Numero Quatro. I have always loved to sing, and I was selling a car to this guy who just so happens to be a drummer in a band and needed a lead singer for an event and when he heard me sing... bam. Hence the beginning lyrics. One of the things I'm singing tonight. We've done 4 rehearsals together and they guys are brilliant. We're on at 8:00 tonight.  WHAT!? Yep.

5. I get to perform with a LEGIT magician. Details soon.

And lastly, (point six for those of you keeping track) I'm officially a Vegan. Vegany Veganson. I won't eat a dead horse (I also won't beat one... baddum chh), but this is a lifestyle I intend to keep on living. I love the way I feel, and I truly believe the human body responds better to Veganism. I like this chart:

http://michaelbluejay.com/veg/natural.html

Okay. Updates complete. Joy. I'll try not to wait so long to write this time.

From Sugar to Sweeter

I love sugar.

And sugar loves me.

For the longest time, that has been everything that mattered. At the end of the day, when the world lets you down and people break your heart, sugar will always be there for you. Ben & Jerry's Phish Food, New York Super Fudge Chunk, and Cherry Garcia are all suitors for my heart. Oreos. Milkshakes. Cadbury Eggs. My secret lovers. Jelly Belly Jelly Beans. Dark chocolate-covered gummy bears. Peach O's. Junior Mints. So much more than one-night stands. Chocolate chip cookies, fudge brownies, lemon meringue and key lime pie. Some of my very dearest friends. Mmm. Utter satification.

But the fairytale that exists in my head where someday sugary delights become healthier for me than the finest head of lettuce will never come to, for lack of a better word, fruition.

Because sugar is... a... lie. A lovely, decorated lie. It does not provide comfort. It does not offer consolation. It only provides the illusion thereof. I have come to realize that my relationship with sugar has not been love, but lust. Dark, devious lust. And I am not the only one who has fallen into its trap. We are all drawn to it.

Meredith Small, writer of the article Why We Love the Sweet Life (http://www.livescience.com/), says that it isn't all our fault. "It's the fault of our primal heritage. Small tells us, "the human tongue can detect four basic flavors — salt, sour, bitter and sweet, but humans are naturally drawn to sweet because we are primates, animals that evolved eating fruit in the trees... They have been selected to prefer sweet, ripe fruit over unripe, bitter fruit because it has higher sugar content and supplies more ready energy. Ripe fruit also has more water, which can be hard to find high in the canopy."

Interesting. So evolution has provided me with an excuse. I cannot be blamed for my initial infatuation with sugar. Evidently that was a primal urge. So they say. But, I would argue, I can definitely be blamed for allowing it to become such a powerful force in the choices I make about my food. Late night freezer and pantry raids, ice cream for breakfast, cookies for lunch. Those were choices I made. And it's time for me to take control of my body, my temple. This body is on loan, and I want to take care of it.

You should know, every year, I observe Lent. I am not a Catholic, but I do uphold this tradition. For those of you who may not know, Lent begins every year on Ash Wednesday, and extends for the following forty days, ending Easter Sunday. There are many details and differing opinions about the subject, but the general idea is to sacrifice something that you will definitely miss during this time. Last year I chose TV. I love Jesus, and at this time of year, before Easter, we remember His resurrection, and we think of His sacrifice. I find that observing Lent is a great reminder to me, many times a day, of what it feels like to sacrifice. And that is a reminder we all need.

This year, I decided to give up sugar. Not natural sugars, like those found in fruits, but definitely everything I would have previously told you that I "loved" (see above). This is my journey, and though it will not be easy, I am excited about it. I am embracing the sweetness that is found in nature. Especially coconut, which is a magical thing, as it turns out.

Since I had such a toxic relationship with sugar before, this is about becoming healthy, in every which way. I am looking at my new undertaking as more than just sugar abstinence. This is my renaissance. Like that moment in life when you realize you have always been dating the wrong men, so you start to give the right ones a chance. (Please, Lord, let me learn that same lesson sooner rather than later.) They are the ones who will really treat me well. Body, mind, and spirit. I shall embrace watermelon, honeydew, and cantelope like old friends. Apples and bananas are coming over for a party. Peaches, mangos, pineapple. New loves. Strawberries, blueberries, figs, kiwis. Perfect gentlemen. And I have a date with coconut tonight.

In short, I am determined.  I will find happiness in the things that really are that much... sweeter.

Girls Just Wanna Have Blogs

Let's face it. We do. And why wouldn't we want to have blogs? They are all about talking. And girls are ALL. ABOUT. TALKING.

This, yes, is a generalization. But herein is another beautiful thing about having a blog. I don't have to care that I am generalizing. It is my blog and it is all about my thoughts and my opinions. And in this case, my opinion is that girls like to talk. I am already proving my point.

Things that are predictable are often so because they are necessary. And with that, I shall forge ahead in a very predictable fashion by discussing the thing that had eluded me (and thus kept me from even starting my blog) for the the last few months: the title.

I, like most bloggers who exist in the world, would call myself a writer. Now, many writers don't fret too much about a title until the completion of their work. I am not one of them. I like to begin with a title, and form my words from that point. I like to think of a title as a place from which I can push-off; a proverbial "starting block" for my stream of consciousness. So when I knew I wanted to start writing a blog, I knew the title would be where I'd have to start.

But whatever could I choose? The possibilities seemed endless. I won't dare tell you some of the things I even considered-- they are shamefully cheesy. Okay, I'll tell you. "Coffee and Conversation." Not so bad, especially for the girl who has worked as a barista for a certain Fortune 500 company we all know, it made sense. And then there was "Conversation Hearts". I liked the idea of having "conversation" in there somehow, because I am always having conversations with myself. But I've decided to reserve this one for the title of a post, because otherwise it sounds like a blog about my love life, which at this point would take me as much time to describe as it does to finish a maze on the kids' menu at IHOP (to your credit, I am assuming you could do this quickly). So that was out. It had to be something more general, more all-encompassing. It had to convey that I wasn't going to restrict this blog to one area of my life, but that it would remain open to all of them. Readers would have to know that this blog was to be about everything. Everything AND the kitchen sink.

But you see, then I got to thinking about that expression. We use it to convey a surplus. Tom's family is going on a camping trip, Tom says, "My wife does not travel light- she packs everything but the kitchen sink!" Well, I thought, that's silly. If Tom's wife- let's call her Cindy, for the sake of this scenario- if Cindy is so adamant about packing everything, why wouldn't she bring the kitchen sink? Are you telling me she will pack away their hardwood floor and not touch the kitchen sink? Is she going to bring the second refrigerator before she brings the sink? Perposterous.

Of all the things that are important in the kitchen, the sink is at the top of my list. Now don't worry, this isn't just another blog about cooking, though it will undoubtedly be here. But I realized that as I go through my days, I must visit the kitchen sink and make use of it at least 14 times. So it is clearly a staple in my life. It is something big and important. I could not think of a better metaphor to use to say that in my blog, I will talk about those things that stand out to me, the highlights in my life. And of course, everything in between.

I guess I could've called it "Highlights of My Life", but that's lame.